Words cannot express how broken our hearts are or how much we will miss Jack. He was a special person who left this life too soon.  We are comforted by the fact that he was out in nature doing something he loved with people who shared his passion for the outdoors and for helping others. To think I will never see my three children together again on this earth is almost more than I can bear, but I will bear it for our lives will go on and I know there is good and happiness for all of us yet to come.

As some of you know this is not the first great tragedy of my life. Our mom died by suicide when I was 17. At that time I thought it would be the greatest pain of my life, but sadly I now know that is not the case. Losing my only son, my first born, the child who gave me the gift of motherhood is heart wrenching but I and we will all go on.  We will find comfort in the world around us, the sunrise and sunset, the city streets of Boston, the beautiful trees and mountains, our girls Anna and Charlotte, our pets Lynn and Shelby and the fish. And we will be comforted by all of you, our family and friends, and those whose lives Jack touched that we do not know but who also grieve.

Jack once told me he did not think he would have a long life. I don’t know why he thought this and it was not something I wanted to hear. We worried about him a lot these past four year as he was far from home and at times struggling with anxiety and depression. He had his share of illnesses and accidents but he was strong and sought help and was open to sharing his emotions with others.  He was able to connect with people and help them be their genuine selves even when he himself was struggling.  We have heard from many of you how he touched your lives and that makes us happy.

We will never know what sort of divine intervention took place to have Jack at Enos Lake in Wyoming when lightning struck. It was a last-minute plan to go on this NOLS trip and we could torture ourselves with what might have been. But I have made the choice not to do that, and to place no blame where no harm was meant.  We have so much to be thankful for. We spoke to Jack a few days before he died. He FaceTimed us which was rare, and we all, me, Doug, Anna and Charlotte, all got to see him sitting on the steps of a cabin in Lander, Wyoming, the same spot as the photo we have shared of Jack smiling with his Wilderness First Responder badge. What a blessing to have had this call and to have that photo. Jack was so proud of his certificate and truly happy that he had gone on the program and was so excited to start the camping part of the trip. Jack loved the outdoors and the mountains in New Hampshire and out West. He was hopeful about what was to come next on the trip, and I think also in his life. The fact that a few days later he was gone is almost too much to bear but our pain is eased by knowing it was sudden and that those around him were there to help and had gotten to know and respect him in their short time together. We were not with him but he was not alone.

I am not sure I can fully recover from getting the worse call any parent can imagine but I am strong and I will go on for Jack, for Doug, for my girls, and for all of you. We will cherish our memories and miss him so very much. I find some comfort in knowing that I have survived another great loss so many years ago and at that time after a period of struggling and grief I made the choice to go on. To let myself be happy again, to forgive, to be compassionate, to lead by example. I have had a great life that honored my mother and I will find the strength to go on again to honor Jack. My handsome, strong, loving son is gone but his memory will live on in all who knew him. Thank you for being here, for supporting us and for helping us honor him in the days and weeks to come.  He would want us to go on, and on we will go.